THE TALE OF A ROOF FALL.

I started working for my self here in Bournemouth after a several years at a firm called George & Hardings. Being unlucky enough to have a perforated ulcer while attending a family wedding in London, bought on I think by the pressure of being the youngest charge hand on that firm. Most of the fella's I got to help me were either older men, or apprentices, which meant half the time my jobs were constantly behind. Of course it didn't help that I was growing and showing that other wonderful flower the chrysanthemum at that time. I suppose I must have been in my middle thirties when this first life changing event happened, and soon after I decided to go it alone. However the poem below was written while recovering from a roof fall some years later at the grand old age of forty seven. I was working by my self on a large two hundred year old property, and its out buildings in Christchurch. To tell you how old the property was, opposite the main Georgian style house was a group of lock up garages which used to house the carriages and horses  the owners in those days used to visit relatives further a field. I'd rigged up a series of ladders to paint the gable end  of roof some forty feet from the ground, when the  eyelet holding the ladder up to the first roof came out, sending the second ladder that I was on sideways. Naturally I didn't stay on the ladder, but started to slide head first down the first and highest roof. It all seemed to happen in slow motion, and as I left the first roof and dropped a mere six foot on to the second roof I remember thinking Irene will kill me. (as if the fall wouldn't) As my head shot over the guttering I knew I might be able to grab it and hold on, and halt my journey to the ground, a mere fourteen feet by now. I did manage to grab the gutter alright, but was unable to hold my weight with the speed of my descent, but fortunately by grabbing it, this  turned me over and I hit the concrete below with my left heel which broke my fall. With paint and ladders going in every direction, and a number of people trying to help by tidying the up the mess I felt embarrassed, and disappeared on my hands and knees into the open door of the main house opposite. By the time the owners wife, an American lady found me in the shade of the hall, and had made a cup of hot sweet tea I was saturated in my own sweat, the shock of course. She covered me up with a blanket, and proceeded to take me to Bournemouth Hospital in the family car. I was out of a job for the total of seven months. The heal was smashed of course, and the Achilles tendon was all but hanging off. The poem tells the rest of the story, and although I elaborate some what, basically it all happened. exactly as portrayed. 

YOU COULD SAY IT WEREN'T FAIR. ©  by Ken Stock 1971

Strangely enough it sound best if it's recited in a Northern accent.)

You can say it weren’t fair as I flew through the air, and I fell off the roof to the ground.
I’d been working you see and the ladder broke free and I didn’t have time to turn round.
As I race down to meet all that dreadful concrete so a thought cross my mind was it time.
But it wasn’t to be cos a force guided me and besides I was still in my prime.

Oh the pain was intent and me leg was all bent I tried to get up from me fall.
Well you’re lucky they said, you could have been dead, you’re lucky that you’re here at all.
Are you sure you can’t stand could you walk on your hands well it wouldn’t take long it’s not far.
Oh well yes I can see you can’t get off your knees, I’ll nip round and I’ll get out the car.

Now that hospital trip wasn’t slow but weren’t quick cos the driver said she’d avoid crowds.
Well I wouldn’t a mind but we passed it three times and it felt like it took bloody hours.
Then this man on the gate said we might `ave to wait cos they’re queuing inside can’t you see.
Can’t you come back next week then you might get a seat and besides, I’m just off for me tea.

Well I waited a while and this nurse gives a smile then she utters oh Lord what you done.
I’ve just fell off the roof, I can see you’ve the proof did you try and be Superman son.
Now the Doctor’s report was a shock of a sort and I almost not quite shed a tear.
Here’s your X-ray plates they show bones not quite straight and a number that shouldn’t be here.

As they put me to bed so I thought what he said now it could be three months maybe four’
That’s a hell of a time to sit on your behind you can bet I’d be vexed I’d be sore.
Then a man from the firm said that they were concerned as my job was in debt more or less.
And they thought that perhaps, him and I had a chat it would forward the healing process.

Well me mortgage is due and me rates have come to and it’s all I can do to survive.
Yes it’s true you can’t save with one foot in the grave it’s amazing that you’re still alive.
Now say where's the pain is it broke or a strain no no don’t you move nod your head.
Are these grapes here for you, well perhaps just a few, aren’t you lucky that you’re home in bed.

Have you signed on the sick well you better be quick you better not wait can’t you phone.
Our Fred’s eldest was five when he first applied now he’s married with kids of his own.
You’ll fill forms in galore, hold on who’s at the door there’s a car and four men in black suits.
Must have thought you were worse cos they’ve sent round a hearse are you sure you won’t have no more fruit.

Well by now I was low my get up wouldn’t go and his talking was driving me mad.
Is it true you see two well they say that you do now that’s dangerous that’s dodgy that’s bad.
I was pleased when he went and I cursed who had sent this fellow from works deputy.
Cos I just had to take all that this so called mate had dished out do you see and all free.

In the morning at dawn to a bath that was warm then a physio room number two.
Where a girl despite charm had these great hairy arms and was top of a class in Kun Fu.
She said hold on there tight and we’ll soon get you right she made light of the whole ruddy mess.
And between ultrasound she would throw me around and she even had hairs on her chest.

With her bikes cut in half and those contrasting baths and those massaging times when we talk.
I will never forget those first few pensive steps and the smiles on their face when I walked.
All those days that went wrong and the nights that were long I’ve had time to reflect don’t you see.
And this much I do know when it is time to go I won’t jump off the roof, no not me.



 

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